45.6.13: Good structure

• The emotional self-regulation that I have learned (and am learning) serves me well.
• I usually enjoy the rhythm of my life. What is important is the journey, the process. Good outcomes (destinations) are nice, but I spend a lot more time in the journey than at the destination, so it's important to enjoy the process of getting to the destination.
• I'm very fortunate to have the close, warm relationship I do with my sweetie. That makes me happy.

"Emotional self-regulation is a learned skill. We are all born agitated and helpless, and we learn self-management skills slowly over time." -- Loretta Graziano Breuning

45.6.12: Foraging for events that stimulate happy brain chemicals

• Finding events that stimulate happy brain chemicals: humor that makes me laugh, making my sweetie laugh, reading a book I enjoy, exercise, tasty food, good talks with my sweetie, being productive at work.
• Machines that work for me while I'm doing other stuff.
• Adding a daily quote to my good list.
• Starbucks on Saturday morning.
• Working on my computer in other venues.

"I've never seen evidence for a non-material realm separate from the physical world of the senses. I have seen a great deal of evidence that human beings have active imaginations and an endless capacity to believe whatever they like in the face of evidence." -- me

45.6.11: Good stuff in my life

• Weekend!
• New computers! (Something I like about my new computer is how quickly it wakes up when I open the lid. The old machine sometimes would spin the beach ball for the better part of 30 seconds.)
• Enjoying the passage of time.
• Restful sleep.
• Getting stuff done.

45.6.10: Stuff I like

• The weather forecast called for rain this morning but it wasn't actually raining when we got up.
• I'm finding that less expensive coffee tastes just as good to me as the expensive stuff, so I can save some money.
• Entertaining websites found through stumbleupon.com.
• Time to eat breakfast.

45.6.9: Things that make me happy

• I like living in Oak Ridge because it's small enough to not feel urban but large enough that we have a local Starbucks and it looks like this summer we'll get a nice new, big Kroger (with gas pumps!). 
• Feeling clean after a shower.
• Gluing old slivers of soap to the new bar so none is lost.
• Improving the code I'm responsible for at work.
• Making my sweetie laugh.

45.6.8: Stuff making me happy today

• Wildlife in my neighborhood.
• Seeing the wind turbines on the ridgeline north of town.
• My scenic commute through the country.
• Interesting things to do at work.
• A steady, comfortable relationship I can count on.
• I'm actually getting some traffic on this blog.

45.6.7: Getting back to the normal routine

• I go back to work today.
• But first we're going to get out for a walk, so my exercise for the day will be done.
• I just finished reading No Easy Day, the account of the Navy SEAL attack on Osama bin Laden's compound in Abottabad, Pakistan. I have a couple more books to read from the library.
• I've made it through a whole week on the current string of days.

45.6.6: Fun stuff happening

• Things I'm looking forward to: having a new, faster computer, having our mortgage paid off, getting back to work after almost two weeks away.
• I recently got a bluetooth headset that works with my phone that I'm enjoying using.
• Yesterday afternoon I went to the library and found several books that I'm going to get to read for free.
• I'm getting happier over time as I work on activities that optimize my brain chemistry (writing good lists like this one, consistent exercise, eating healthfully, fostering positive thinking, etc.)

45.6.5: Easy access to information makes my life easy and comfortable

• It looks like we'll finish paying our 30 year mortgage this year, just five years after starting it.
• My life is much easier than I deserve.
• I live in a place and time where the political and economic system is stable, which makes my life more predictable and comfortable than it would otherwise be.

45.6.4: Oh, what a lucky man

• I see ads for dating services for singles all the time, both online and in real life. They remind me how happy I am in my relationship with my sweetie, how very not single I am.
• We recently had a death in the family. It was sudden, but not unexpected. It's a bit sad. However, in their efforts to be sympathetic, the people around me seem to me to reflect much more grief than I'm aware of feeling. I think I'm fortunate to not feel as sad about the loss as everyone around me seems to assume that I am.
• This morning I spoke with a man who is considering moving into our neighborhood. He said that the sort of house we have is not easily available in other neighborhoods or areas. We are lucky to have the house that we do.

45.6.3: Getting back to normal

• We're safely home from our road trip.
• I'm happy to be back home with my normal food, in my bed, with my familiar bathrooms, in my comfy house.
• Monday I'll go back to work and things will get back to normal.

45.6.2: Living is easy

• Things will soon be back to their normal routine. We're almost at the end of the road trip.
• Travel in this country is very safe and easy compared to most of the world for most of history. We are fortunate.
• Summertime and the living is easy. :)

45.6.1: Try, try again

• It's so nice that with this building habit chains I get as many do overs as it takes. This is day 3 of the road trip.
• The weather for our road trip has been beautiful. This morning we actually got out and ran.
• Despite saying that the tires need to be maintained every time we start it up, the rental car has been reliable. It has even gotten relatively good gas mileage.

45.5.3: Road trip day 1

• We made it safely through the first day of our road trip.
• The rental car is very comfortable and smooth-riding.
• We're having pleasant weather.

45.5.2: Awareness

• Awareness monitors experience all the time, whether "I" thinks he's paying attention or not. Meditation is just when awareness is monitoring experience and noticing that it's monitoring experience (i.e., entertaining thoughts about how experience-monitoring is going on). Non-meditation is when awareness is monitoring experience but thoughts about the process are not arising. Whether a moment is designated "meditation", a "moment of awareness", or an ordinary moment, awareness is monitoring experience.
• I got a second day in a row on this chain.
• Plans for our upcoming road trip are well in hand and progressing satisfactorily.

45.5.1: Roadtrip!

It seems that my level of distractedness has not subsided as much as I thought it would have by now. I'm still trying to get a chain going and missing every other day. This is the next attempt.

• We'll be going on a road trip over the next week. I expect the travel to be stimulating.
• For the road trip, we're renting a car to save wear and tear on our own. I expect to enjoy driving the rental car.
• After today, we'll have the apartment closed down and be done with it.

45.4.1: Drat! I missed again :(

• But that's okay cause I can always start over. :)
• The last two months have been very stressful with my mother-in-law's decline in health and death this morning. We're sad about her death and looking forward to the disruption and stress easing up once we get all the loose ends tied up. She made an effort to not leave many.
• The Ecumenical Storehouse will come and pick up the chair we want to donate but don't want to deal with moving.

45.3.4: Happy Birthday to me

• Today is my 54th birthday. I'm taking a day off from work and spending it with my sweetie. It doesn't get better than that.
• We got a lot of important stuff done today.
• I stayed on my eating plan today.
• Despite how busy the day was, we got out for a walk, so we got some exercise.

45.3.3: The living is easy

• We had a great time in Chattanooga yesterday. Karen tells me that today is much more humid than yesterday was, so it looks like we picked the right day.
• Dr. Greger reads 20,000 science papers a year so I don't have to.
• Karen's sports injuries are 90% healed, she said yesterday.
• Compared to a lot of other people, the obstacles and difficulties in my life are very modest.

45.3.2: !

• Weekend!
• Going to Chattanooga!
• Going to walk!
• Lunch at Gollywhoppers!
• Supper at Mellow Mushroom!
• Sitting at Starbucks!
• Woohoo!

45.3.1: Missed another day

• I woke up this morning in a good mood.
• I'm restarting after another missed day (so now I'm on my third attempt at 45 days).
• Michael was over last night and we watched Homefront. Typical heroic good versus nasty evil, but it was enjoyable escapism for an evening.
• I am healthy -- my breath comes easily, my heart beats strongly and slowly, my blood pressure is nice and low.
• I have exercised most days this week, including today. Just went out and ran 2.4 miles.
• Last night, I spent some time moving accounts into lastpass and strengthening my passwords.

45.2.4: Wanting what I have

• After missing a day of exercise yesterday, I got right back to my daily habit today with a walk and my normal strength training routine this morning.
• It's a bright, sunshiny day where I live with the temperatures getting warmer and more comfortable and pleasant.
• Even when life isn't exactly to my preferences, I can cultivate equanimity and contentment. I can focus on the good stuff I have rather than what I don't have that I think I want.

45.2.3: Looking for motivation

• Lists of how mentally strong people think and live.
• Flexible schedule. I will face my day. It's comforting that I can take my time about it.
• Soothing morning birdsong out my window.

45.2.2: Changing directions

• Life typically gives us multiple chances to get things right.
• I had been using indoor rock climbing as an exercise for building upper body strength and recently decided that it's too expensive and I don't want to continue paying for access to the gym. The good thing about it is that I don't have to get out of a contract or stop attending a class. I can just stop doing it.
• I am grateful that I'm not responsible for any small children or pets. My life is stressful enough right now, dealing with aging family members.

45.2.1: Reality credits me for what I do, not just what I remember to write down

Oops! I missed a day. That's what I get for bragging on how I hadn't missed a couple of days ago. :\

So I get to start over. I've decided to count days in the following format:

[total].[attempt].][days]

So, today is 45.2.1 because I'm going for a total of 45 days, this is the second attempt (I just blew the first attempt by missing April 19th), and today is day 1 in the sequence. Tomorrow will be 45.2.2, then 45.2.3, and so forth. Unless I miss again, in which case I'll start back up at 45.3.1.

So here's the list for today:

• I'm picking this experiment back up after a miss of just one day, rather than letting a week go by.
• Dear Wife and I ran our first organized charity 5K yesterday. I'm glad we did it for the experience, and it was okay, but neither one of us got a huge kick out of it. DW was coming off a day of not feeling well and we both over-indulged in the goodies on offer after the run, so there were a couple of downsides to the experience. We probably won't sign up for organized events in the future, based on this experience, but I'm still glad we did it and got the experience.
• I have been frustrated sometimes because I'll think of something to go on the good stuff list but then not be able to remember what it was when I'm in front of the computer to write it down. The happy thought I had about this is that even if I don't remember it to write it down, the unremembered happy thought brightened my mood when I had it, so it counts anyway. It's kind of like how your body gives you credit for the exercise you do, even if you forget to record it in your exercise log. My mood in the moment gives me credit for happy thoughts even if I don't manage to put them in my official good stuff list.
• The idea for this experiment came from Loretta Breuning's books. I have also found her blog interesting, inspirational, and helpful.

45 days: 14

• Saw Winter Soldier last night and enjoyed it.
• Some interesting ways to tip the odds in your favor.
• Despite some recent life stress, I've managed to maintain a positive mood for the most part.
• It could always be worse, and life goes on.
• In my house, there's a toilet for every butt. Reduces contention and conflict. 

45 days: 13

• I've posted a list of at least three things that make me happy on this blog every day without missing for almost two weeks now. That makes me happy.
• I just got to see a beautiful sunrise out the window of my house.
• Recently, I (re)discovered the http://stackexchange.com/ family of websites. It's fun to participate in the community by answering and commenting on questions and watch your reputation grow. It's almost as much fun as playing a computer game and more productive because it builds a useful knowledge base that benefits everyone.
• With the price of gasoline going up, I'm happy that the car I drive gets relatively good gas mileage.

45 days: 12

• I've been thinking recently about all the ways life is so much more comfortable and easy now than it was just 80 to 100 years ago -- transportation, communication, housing, food, getting information (the Internet). I wonder how daily life will change in the future.
• My health is good.
• I'm learning to manage my mood and perspective to stay upbeat and positive most of the time, and I notice it working. I am happier more of the time than I was a few weeks ago.
• We're more than halfway through this week, and where I work this coming Friday is a holiday. Woot!

45 days: 11

• Cars make transportation much more convenient than it was 150 years ago. Driving up a big hill recently, I was reminded of what I've read about traveling in a horse-drawn conveyance. You'd have to take it easy going up hills to coddle the horses. They'd have to stop and rest at the top and maybe sometimes halfway up. Sometimes the people would have to get out of the buggy or wagon and walk up the hill because hauling the wagon was all the horses could do. Cars are also easier to feed and don't poop in the street. They have issues of their own, but in many ways they are much more convenient than horses.
• Sunshine and rain are good -- they support life. Without either one, life as we know it would be impossible. It's possible to get too much other either. It's also easy to not get enough of either one.
• A regular meditation practice helps to keep the brain balanced.

45 days: 10

• Sometimes technology is good: http://arstechnica.com/business/2014/04/glow-in-the-dark-roads-make-debut-in-netherlands/. This could save energy and improve safety.
• I slept for over 9 hours last night and actually feel fairly well rested this morning.
• My calendar at work this week is fairly empty, so I have a hope of making some progress on my projects there.

45 days: 9

• I found LastPass and started using it. It seems to work well and I'm comfortable with the tradeoff of security and convenience.
• I'm starting to have some decent reputation on the StackExchange sites.  Some of my answers have been accepted as best.
• I figured out the route for the 5K we're planning to do next weekend.
• I found a couple of online tools for assessing whether sites I use are vulnerable to the HeartBleed vulnerability. The one I like best is https://www.ssllabs.com/ssltest/.

45 days: 8

• Microwave ovens make food preparation much quicker and easier than it was just a few years ago. I remember life before microwaves.
• Brilliant sunshine makes me happy and hopeful.
• I got a few extra hours in at work this week so I don't have to do anything extra this weekend and it's guilt-free.
• I'm happy that it's the weekend.

Good stuff!

45 days: 7

• At work, I get to work on computer code most of the time, one of my favorite things to do.
• Fascinating reading material is more available now than it has ever been in the past.
• I have a close, warm relationship with my best friend and spouse that has lasted for thirty years. I expect it last another thirty.

45 days: 6

• Indoor plumbing. Consider how much more difficult and less comfortable maintaining good hygiene was before we got indoor running water and sewers. Some parts of the world still live without them.
• Supermarkets. Now there's a locavore movement but once upon a time, if it wasn't local and seasonal, you didn't get a chance to eat it. Food couldn't be transported very far because it spoiled too quickly and the technology to keep it fresh had not yet been invented. Now we have access to an incredible diversity of food throughout the year.
• Laws. Chimpanzees and baboons in the wild live in chaos and anxiety, always looking over a shoulder to avoid being eaten by a predator or ambushed by a rival. I'm sure some humans live in chaotic and anxious lives as well, but most of us live under a legal system that most folks adhere to enough of the time that we are afforded the comfort of an orderly, relatively predictable life from one day to the next.
• Science. We have a deeper understanding of how the world works than at any time in the past, our understanding continues to grow, and the information is available on the Internet to pretty much everyone.

Good stuff.

45 days: 5

• Yesterday, my boss gave me the unprompted feedback that he's happy with my work and attitude. Made me feel good.
• Moments later, a co-worker, again unprompted, told me I seemed happier in my work recently and wondered why. That was very encouraging.
• The taste of coffee makes me happy.
• I ran across the idea of self-priming yesterday and started using it. This is the idea of using key words to foster a mental state conducive to navigating a particular kind of situation, for example, being productive at work, or calming down to go to sleep at night, or preparing for a conversation with a friend. Here's a statement for ramping myself up for the day: "The proactive athlete responds quickly and effectively to whatever happens because of having powerful and well-trained reflexes." A statement for inducing a relationship mindset: "Communication builds bridges to common ground, playfully facilitating harmony and productive collaboration." A statement for winding down at the end of the day: "The fluffy sheep sleeps peacefully beside the tranquilly babbling brook in perfect comfort and safety." A nice thing about stringing the words together into a sentence is that it makes them easy to remember.

45 days: 4

• I've been using the Sleep Cycle app for my alarm clock lately. I'm a bit skeptical about its ability to assess the quality of my sleep, but I really like the way it goes off when I'm closest to wakefulness (and therefore ready to wake up anyhow) and the music it uses as an alarm is very pleasant and soothing. It has a pretty broad selection of alarm tones to pick from in case you don't like the default.
• I've been reading The Ape in the Corner Office: Understanding the Workplace Beast in All of Us and finding it very interesting. On one hand, some of the information has affected how I interact with my co-workers and bosses. On the other hand, it has also made me feel better about past interactions that I didn't understand. For example, there have been times when I've reacted angrily and later felt bad about seeming "out of control". Getting a better understand of the competitive social dynamics of the situation and the functioning of the suspicious, ambitious mammal brain embedded in that social context makes, while not excusing emotional reactions, makes them more understandable.
• "We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses." -- attributed to Abraham Lincoln
• "A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimists see the opportunity in every difficulty." -- Winston Churchill

45 days: 3

• It's time for bed.
• I got all I wanted to eat today.
• I'm safe and warm in a comfortable home.

45 days: 2

• None of the dogs that chased me on my bike ride yesterday caught up with me.
• http://www.healthaxioms.com/. Ran across these in my reading stream. Cues for good health habits.
• I heard about Global Grannies on an NPR news program this morning. Here's a link to a description of one of their recent trips. Hearing and reading about people doing things they care about is inspiring, even if their things are not things I would want to do myself.

45 days: Day 1, part 2

• I rode the 50 mile route, except that I missed a turn near the end and wound up doing about 51.5 miles total.
• My suspicious mammal brain kept me safe. As I was riding along, a black pickup passed me, pulled over up ahead and the guy got out. As I approached, he seemed to be rummaging in the truck, then turned as I came up to him with one hand behind his back, and pointed at the RoadID number pinned to the front of my jacket. He said, "Racing?" I said, "No, sir. Just riding." And I kept on riding. In my rear view mirror, I saw him get back in his truck and drive away. I offered him respect ("No, sir"). I gave him confusing information (said, "No, just riding" when I clearly was wearing some kind of event number). And I didn't hang around to get clobbered (or whatever he was planning to do if I had responded the way he expected). (It might have been more honest to say something like, "I'm participating in a charity ride," but I don't even care. I'm just happy that I managed to misdirect the predator at the crucial moment, escape, and complete the ride safely.)
• Along the way, I encountered some old friends who were also participating in the ride and also met some new friends. It was a very positive experience.
• I got a lot of endorphins from the extended exercise.

I don't expect most days to have multiple parts, but it's okay if they do. :)

45 days: 1

Loretta Breuning has written several books about the brain and the major neurochemicals it uses for motivation, reward, and aversion (she calls them your "happy" and "unhappy" chemicals). In Meet Your Happy Chemicals: Dopamine, Endorphin, Oxytocin, Serotonin, summarized here, she says it takes about 45 days to build a new habit. In Beyond Cynical: Transcend Your Mammalian Negativity, she suggests a worthwhile helpful habit is to look for positive aspects of one's life and make a list of them each day.

I like the simplicity and clarity of her approach. I have thought I needed to meditate and make gratitude lists and make optimism lists and reflect on my deepest value and a list of what went well yesterday and a list of what I expect to go well tomorrrow and ... unending lists of positivity and perkiness.

She boils it down into a simple, straight-forward daily practice. Just find what's good in your life and make note of it. Form the habit of noticing the positive.

So I'm taking that on as an experiment here. This is day 1. I'd like to find at least three good things to put on my list each day. Here's today's list:

• Today is the Butterflies for Hope bike ride that I signed up for a while ago and have been looking forward to. I hope to do the 62 mile loop but I'll settle for the 50 if the longer loop starts feeling like too much.
• The weather forecast indicates that we'll have clear, sunny, cool weather for the bike ride.
• Peanut butter sandwiches.

See you tomorrow...